Was it something you did, or didn't do?

I'm convinced that most stresses are caused internally... you do it to yourself. They're caused by lack of preparation and planning. Stephen Covey calls this proactivity.

Think about it. When was the last time you were speeding to the airport, stressed that you weren't going to make it through security in time. Why were you stressed? Was it because of something the airline did? Probably not. Was it because of something your boss did? Maybe, but probably not.

I'll bet it was because of something you did, or didn't do. It was because of lack of preparation and planning. Were you late because you were surfing the web, or doing some other thing to waste time? Were you working on lesser important things rather than the things that really matter?

Like I said, I think most stresses are caused by this -- lack of preparation and planning. Of course there will always be stress caused by emergencies or accidents or the unforeseen problem that will surface tomorrow on your desk at about 9:00. But most stress is caused because you are not planning your time well -- or at all.

If you would have left for the airport just 15 or 20 minutes earlier wouldn't that have relieved a lot of the pressure and stress? As a result you'll be transferring your stress to others through poor driving. Speeding. Recklessness. Tailgating. Talking on your cell phone.

Getting out of bed 15 minutes earlier won't kill you. But the drive to the airport just might.

Plan your time so you know what's important and then do it.

The Davis Principle

I played in rock band for the better part of High School and College. Lots of ska, a bunch of covers and a few great originals. It was a great way to earn money for pizza.

After each performance we would inevitably have a box full of cords and cables that were all tangled up in a knot.

Matt Davis was one of our lead singers. He had a theory that if you took this knot and shook it, it would unravel -- it would de-knot itself. So he would shake, and shake, and shake and, in many cases the ball of cables would eventually unravel or get close enough that you could easily finish untangling them. Whereas the rest of us would be fiddling with them and usually end up tying them tighter than they were before and it would take twice as long to undo them.

Now, this didn't happen all of the time. It worked when the bundle wasn't too messy. When it was a big messy knot it required someone to tackle it and trace back the ends of the cord like a crazy three dimensional maze until the cords were untangled.

You know where I'm going with this story, don't you?

This is a lot like the problems today. In some cases when you have problems that cause you stress and pressure you don't always need to sit and worry over them as much as you think you do. Some knots will unravel themselves with just a little effort, just a little shaking. However, there are some knots that are so tangled that you do need to take time and manage them until they're resolved. These are typically the knots that have been in the bottom of the box the longest and haven't had regular shaking. But for the most part, many of the knots in our life just require a little bit of coaxing and they'll resolve themselves.

• Go and talk with the person that is causing your stress.
• Spend a couple of additional hours working on that high-pressure project.

Some days I wish I had a roadie to shake out all of my knots at work. Wouldn't that be nice!

Five Tips to Reduce Your Stress: Tip #3

If you’re like most people, including me, your task might require its own Dewey Decimal system. Do you get a dozen new tasks every day, on top of the dozen you were handed the day before? Although it may seem impossible, there is a way to get the most important things done.

Tip #3: Plan or Perish

If you’re like me, you have multiple projects. Each with dozens of sub-tasks that need to be done “right now.” Right? To get through this jumble of projects you must do one simple thing: plan. It’s as easy as that. It’s no secret. It’s pure and simple common sense. Try out this process and you’ll see for yourself.

1. This coming Sunday night, before your work week begins, review your list of tasks.
2. Prioritize the ones that are most critical to your team’s goals.
3. Identify those tasks that you can easily delegate to others (see my previous post).
4. Identify what meetings you have during the week and find tasks that can be accomplished during those time periods.
5. Then, every morning, before anyone else comes into the office, take five minutes and review your list. Check off things you’ve done, review the day’s appointments, and adjust your tasks as necessary.

If you’re a user of Microsoft® Outlook® or IBM® Lotus® Notes® you might consider checking out some quick and simple Time Management webinars offered by FranklinCovey. They’re only about 1 ½ hours long and will provide some amazing techniques to help teach you how to use these tools while you plan your days.

In my next post, I’ll cover tip #4: “No” is not a four-letter word.

Five Tips to Reduce Your Stress: Tip #2

Have some of your colleagues been laid off recently? Are you being asked to pull up the slack and do more with less?

You’re not alone.

I mean, there are still other people in your organization, right?

Tip#2: Embrace Others

Odds are, when you’re working fast and furious, there is probably someone, somewhere in your organization that may have some downtime, or they’re worried about not being aligned with strategic projects. Find them. Grab them. Capitalize on their skills. And have them chip in. People are generally happier when they’re engaged and contributing. Sure, quality might slip a bit and it might take longer for you to get that project done. But there is a huge feeling of relief when you delegate a task to someone and you go back to your office and are able to tackle something else. And there is an even better feeling when they come back to you and the project is finished and better than if you did it yourself.

In The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey outlines the principle of abundance. What this means is that there is always enough work for me and you, and the person in the office down the hall. Don’t be afraid to relinquish a bit of control over your projects. It will only benefit you and the people you bring into your circle. Your projects will get done better than before and you’ll be helping other people become engaged.

In my next post I’ll cover Tip #3: Plan or Perish.

Five Tips to Reduce Your Stress: Tip #1

Some of you may have read portions of this blog before. However, I've expanded it and will now republish it in five sections. I'd love to hear any comments. You can leave them here or e-mail me directly at matthewmurdoch@yahoo.com.

Why is it that when layoffs occur, and the workforce retracts, the work seems to expand? The remaining employees are, quite often, left with additional responsibilities and fewer resources. Sound familiar? I’m going to share with you my five keys to remaining sane when your job requirements try to drive you mad.

Tip #1: Eliminate Chaos
When everything around you is moving fast it’s hard to get organized. Does this sound like your typical day? You return from one meeting only to go to another and yet another throughout the day; you don’t have time to focus strategically on one project because your time is spread so thin over a dozen; you have three people at your door waiting for a decisions on three different projects.

Unless you gain control over the madness of your days, it will control you. You need to do whatever it takes to prepare yourself for these tornadic days - because they’re not going to stop. You need time management. You need to get organized.

Come in 30 minutes early and straighten your desk and reply to urgent e-mails: It’s amazing how much quality work you can do when nobody else is in the office.

Organize your files so you know where everything is: It’s a great feeling to be called into a last minute meeting and be able to grab the appropriate file.

Block out chunks of your days to ensure you have time to get your work done: I find that I’m most productive on Monday-my brain is fresh and I’m still thinking clearly. After my morning meetings I’ve blocked out a few hours in the afternoon to actually work.

Take time to help others: You’ll find that when you’re organized, you’ll be better able to help others and help them with things they need.

I’ve learned that when my life is chaotic, I work minute-by-minute. I can’t see the horizon and I start to feel overwhelmed and stressed. So, take some time and eliminate the chaos by getting organized.

In my next post I’ll talk about Tip #2: Embrace Others

Business and bicycles

In high school a teacher once told me that I don't just burn the candle at both ends. I cut the candle in half and burn the other two ends as well.

I'm typically a pretty busy guy. I like to be busy. I like to have a lot on my plate. I like to be involved. I like to go into work early and get things done. But with this lifestyle there is also a lot of stress. Plus, I feel like I'm missing out on part of my kids lives. In fact my five-year-old told my wife that he'll never be able to finish riding his bike because his dad isn't ever home to teach him.

So, I'm going to change my ways.

As of yesterday, I've started to block out my morning for time to "sharpen my saw" and spend more time with my family. I figure everyone else at work rolls into work at 8:00 or 8:30 and they still have a job. Why can't I? Sure. There will still be times when I have early morning or night-time meetings with partners in Europe or Asia, but for the most part I'm going to try this out and see what happens.

So, yesterday I stayed home in the early morning hours and let my wife go running. Although I still did e-mail from home. She was happy.

Today I went running (to begin my training for a 10K in a couple of months) and still had time to read a book before leaving for work. I also got to see how my kids look in the morning when they wake up :). I was happy.

I even told someone that I couldn't meet at 7:00 am for a meeting and he didn't complain. We're meeting at noon instead.

Guess what? The earth hasn't exploded and I still have a job.

I'm commtted to this new way of life. I believe that I will be happier, more productive, healthier and most importantly, my kids will know that their father really exists.

But the best part though, is I taught my son how to ride his bike last night and he couldn't be happier.

A very wise man once said, "No success at the office can compensate for failure in the home." I've never been one to accept failure and I'm not going to start now.

The Life of Bob

I recently went on a marathon trip to Mexico City, Costa Rica and Panama City with a couple of co-workers to launch LiveClicks to our offices there. The schedule was fast-paced and the flights had very little room for error. Five days...five flights. Miss one and you mess up the whole schedule.

I was traveling with someone I'll call Bob. Bob is a very hard worker yet he is very relaxed. I learned a lot from Bob on this trip.

On one leg of the journey, Bob's flight and that of our other co-worker, were accidentally scheduled to leave on the wrong day. Meaning they would miss all of the meetings in Costa Rica. We didn't discover this error until they went to check-in. The flight was oversold by 12 seats. Bob spoke kindly to the people at the ticket desk, letting them know that it was his fault that the dates were wrong. He smiled. He was relaxed. He was kind. My wife has a saying for this, "You'll catch more flies with honey than with vinegar." The man behind the desk said to come back in 20 minutes and he'd see what he could do.

I was sweating. I thought that there was no way they were getting on the flight. My angry thoughts turned to the agent who booked the tickets... "how careless", I thought. Bob simply said, "It was just a mistake. Nothing we can do now but hope for the best."

20 minutes later we went back. Not only did they get on the flight, but got upgraded to first class!

On the next leg, we had 7 hours to make a flight. The only problem is we had to travel 1.5 hours in one direction, attend to 1.5 hours of business and then return 1.5 hours to the airport. 4.5 hours right? It was 1:00 pm and we thought we had plenty of time. We didn't factor in traffic jams.

We were sweating all the way to the airport. All of us except Bob. He was calm and casual. We made it back with 30 minutes to spare.

In The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People Dr. Covey teaches about the Circle of Concern and the Circle of Control. The Circle of Control represents the things you can actually do something about. The Circle of Concern are things you can't. Bob is a great example of living a life of less stress because he doesn't worry about things outside his control. He works hard to influence those things, but when it comes right down to it, he realizes there is only so much he can do.

On the last leg of the journey, Bob actually did miss his flight from Panama. But he didn't panic. He caught another one a few hours later and made it home without any problem. We should all take note of this and try and live without so much stress.